I did something bold today. Something foolhardy and mad and quite likely impractical.
I bought a dress.
Now, it’s nothing terribly fancy. It’s black with elbow length sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. The fabric is ribbed, and the hemline is just above the knee. But it’s stretchy. It’s form-fitting. It’s a size that is at my just-past-realistic goal.
Backstory: I’m just over a week into a 10 Week Fitness and Nutrition program. It’s a service my gym (CKO Kickboxing of Warwick, NY – come in for your free trial class!) has always offered, but has recently revamped. As of this launch, it was ten weeks to Memorial Day. Great impetus: get ready for summer. I’m a trainer, sure, but I’m as much of a work in progress as anyone else. So, I signed up. For ten weeks, I’m logging what I eat, when I eat, when I’m drinking water, when I’m working out. I’m setting long term goals, sub goals, choosing rewards for meeting said goals, sharing my journey with the rest of the team.
In the past, when I’ve felt fit and confident, I enjoyed clothes. I wore shorts and a tank top without throwing a big flannel shirt over the lot. I wore floaty dresses with knee-high boots. I was at ease with whatever I put on. It may be silly and shallow, but feeling at ease in clothing is most certainly a personal barometer of both physical and emotional wellness. We all have our touchstones.
So. Back to the dress. JCPenney was having a ‘Dress Event!’ I didn’t pay much attention as to the details. I wandered through, eschewing all of the styles that didn’t take wee torso/long limbs into account*. Then, I saw it. It’s not my usual style. It’s not remotely my size. Still, I thought, ‘Dress Event!’. Mayhap it’s worth trying on . I took the dress (along with a snappy little red sheath) into the fitting room. Snappy red sheath, though fine, wasn’t worth it.
Completely ridiculous dress, though? Showed off collarbones beautifully (though minor tailoring will be needed because: stumpy torso, odd distance between ribcage and shoulders. Not disparaging, here. It’s just a thing.). Fit almost perfectly. Will fit perfectly if and when I meet my 10 Week Fitness and Nutrition goals. No idea when or where I’ll ever wear it, but… DONE. I looked at the price tag: $60. Knowing, though, that there was a ‘Dress Event!’ going on, I’d probably get 15% off of that, I decided to bloody go for it.
Adorable sales girl rang it up. $9.99. We locked eyes. “Wow,” she said. “Are you sure?” said I. “Yeah,” she replied. Then, “where did you find this? I want one.” And, because it’s me, I almost told her to take it for herself. She was super wee and adorbs. But I held firm, and this is now a thing. A thing, I tell you! It is a size four, form fitting, very pretty dress. It is a goal. It is a dream. And if I fail, that’s okay. It’s a $10 touchstone, spurring me on to better health and fitness.
*Spoiler: damn near all of them.