I am rather reserved. I avoid confrontations, am fine with being a follower, consider myself simply ordinary. I’ve a laundry list of things that are wrong with me, with the way I look, with my supposed skills. I can self-defeat like a boss.
I wasn’t always this way. I used to believe I could, and would, do whatever I dreamt. I wrote – constantly, as naturally as drawing breath – on legal pads and notebooks and even on scraps of paper when that was all there was to hand. Loved learning new things, finding adventure at any moment. I was pretty happy with who I was. Not sure when that changed, but it did. I lost confidence in my writing, in myself, and all for no good reason (though I’m sure a skilled therapist could winnow it out).
So, for this month at least, I’m going to be audacious. I’m going to thumb my nose at my comfort zone. I will learn new stage combat techniques. I will teach amazing kickboxing classes. I will buy a bathing suit. I’ll play guitar (badly) and ukulele (somewhat less badly) and sing without apology. I’ll post one positive thing about myself every day. I will write, and I will share that writing every day, from A to Z.
I’m going to be like a snowdrop, pressing my way out of the cold April soil, unfurling inexorably toward the sun.